HOMOSEXUALITY – A FRESH LOOK

By: Smart Onuigbo

Lately, the issue of homosexuality is becoming widespread and to a degree contagious. Day in and day out, we hear news of celebrities and other individuals, jumping out of their proverbial closets to declare their new found sexual inclinations. It is not that this practice is entirely new to humanity; we have lived with this phenomenon since ages.

Some argue in favor that most people are born with homosexual inclination therefore, it is intrinsically ingrained in their genes; they cannot help themselves and as such should be supported and accepted. For others however, some people are born with other inclinations; to steal, to lie, to con others and some of these inclinations they argue, manifest through generations and yet, those affected are not at liberty to carry out these anti-social inclinations with impunity.

The issue of homosexuality is a very emotional one as many families struggle with the reality of homosexual loved ones. Therefore, we need to tread cautiously around this matter to make sure all sides are well illuminated and well understood so that we are not ourselves guilty of hasty generalization. Right now, there is no shortage of theories and perceptions as to whether homosexuality is by choice or a consequence of factors in upbringing. Robert Bray, the head of public information for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, captured the mood of the gay community in response to one of the "gay brain" theorem: "It points out that gay people are made this way by nature. It strikes at the heart of people who oppose gay rights and who think we don't deserve our rights because we're choosing to be the way we are" (The Nation, October 19, 1992).

It is a tragedy that homosexuality has become a political campaign issue where simple issues take intractable lives of their own as politicians advance their parochial, and myopic partisan agenda. Homosexual behavior should not be tied to the wimps and caprices of those holier-than-thou religious zealots who see every issue from the lenses of their narrow religious canons. Rather, we should go beyond our prejudices and try to see if there is a common denominator in the entire gay evolution to serve as a guide as to what perhaps altered the sexuality of the gay person. And one such denominator is that homosexuality is a factor in upbringing.

The familiar story is that most people who turn out gay were abused particularly by family members who took advantage of their innocence. We have also heard the stories of promiscuous women, who claim they were sexually abused growing up. These are pervasive stories which perhaps continue even as we speak. There is a need to remind ourselves that the gay community is a human community, and in addressing issues that concern them, the present pack-mentality attitude should be avoided. Pack-mentality is a classic survival of the fittest syndrome, whereby healthy predatory animals prey on the vulnerability of others and have them for dinner.

The society should be looking into the allegations of abuses in the family with a view to stemming the tide. It is an understatement to describe the American family as being largely dysfunctional. According to 2000 Census figures, the American family is changing in dramatic ways. The number of families headed by single mothers has increased 25 percent since 1990, to more than 7.5 million households. For most of the past decade, about a third of all babies were born to unmarried women, compared with 3.8 percent in 1940. The number of single fathers has also increased; single fathers now head more than two million families (Louisiana State University survey). Here lies the true tragedy that some of the products of these families end up in foster homes where abuses of all kinds; physical, emotional, and sexual are daily routines.

As a microcosm of a nation, the family should undergo dramatic structural changes to give it the impetus and empowerment to effect the changes necessary to become a stronger and vibrant unit of society. The homosexual conversation should move away from the present realm of blame and religious conjecture. But to focus on strengthening the family to ensure that more and more children are raised by both parents to make the “business” of foster parenting a thing of the past; for it is a business devoid of empathy, and genuine commitment to better the lives of the adopted kids.